I think I just solved my own problem and that I need to accept what those who have gone before me have taken and think of it as a gift to those in Heaven, tiny keepsakes of a life they have left but not forgotten.
I hope to have shed some light on my feelings and helped to at least calm and soothe the souls who are suffering, with not just my words but support and love.
Rest in Peace Marena. A young girl taken too soon. We will miss you.