A Keepsake for Heaven

Minutes after I pulled back the covers and took my contacts out all ready to crawl into bed, I was inspired to write. But as I sit here my thoughts creep back into the comfy bed I once inhabited. What provoked me to write you ask? I'm not sure I could even answer that question at the moment. You could say that my thoughts have taken a sabbatical and not sure when they will return. I think I would call what I'm feeling numb for the time being, walking around in a constant cloud or blur not knowing whether one moment you are going to laugh or cry.

It's hard to say when this feeling or lack there of started but it grew increasingly worse when I received a phone call on Sunday that would change me for quite some time. A very close friend's younger sibling had passed away unexpectedly and it has broken my heart. I have seen loss throughout my life, the loss of two grandfathers, a friend's younger brother, to numerous family friends, all taken too soon. What is it about loss that makes people actually feel lost? Of course, the person is no longer with us and you cannot physically know their whereabouts, but they are still there spiritually or whatever your religion chooses you to believe. I feel that when we lose someone close to us or even a person we had the pleasure to just know, they take something with them of ours. We walk around trying to remember every last memory, scent, smile of a person but what will the deceased have to remember us, a keepsake for them to take to Heaven with them, which is where the feeling of loss comes from. This is not some philosophical idea that will change the way people grieve and mourn the loss of loved ones but it at least one person can put an explanation on the way they choose to mourn it helps to lessen the blow.

I think I just solved my own problem and that I need to accept what those who have gone before me have taken and think of it as a gift to those in Heaven, tiny keepsakes of a life they have left but not forgotten.

I hope to have shed some light on my feelings and helped to at least calm and soothe the souls who are suffering, with not just my words but support and love.

Rest in Peace Marena. A young girl taken too soon. We will miss you.